“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people”. 2 Timothy 3:1-5
Because I know some woke up today asking, “Is it me? Am I crazy? Are all these problems my fault? Can I do anything right? He continually points out my character traits, which I thought were good, positive, and helpful, as terrible and wrong. I feel I should sit on a corner shelf and be quiet until I am asked for and needed. I thought I was strong, intelligent, capable, a good friend, generous, happy, and hospitable. Now I increasingly feel empty, sad, and erased. Where did I go?”
Perhaps it isn’t you! No loving, empathetic human would cause another to feel like this. Maybe it’s time to look at your difficult person through a new set of lenses.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”. Galatians 5:22-23
Allow me to hand you a new set of eyes. While I’m at it, I’ll lend you a new pair of ears so you can recall if you often hear these phrases.
Have you felt your heart ache? Are you frequently replaying questions you have asked for clarification and the provoking replies you’ve received? Do you feel like you can’t find your balance in this difficult relationship? Do you like the public personality of your spouse, but in private, they are mean-spirited?
If so, you may want to study narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorders. If the below problems identify a relationship you are in, you will need professional help to grow stronger; along with prayer and bible study to make it through to healthy thinking, wise boundaries, and an emotionally safe relationship. You DO NOT need marriage counseling and should not attend counseling sessions together. Instead, the abuser will need professional therapy to overcome being an abuser.
Spend time with Jesus. You will survive, grow stronger and healthier, become purposeful, and find joy. You can do it!